It’s been a minute
I know… don’t even give me that look.
Sis has been busy… like BUSY BUSY lol
So here is the catch-up of all catch-ups because life has been a whirlwind since my last post!
The boyfriend:
I call this: happy.
Last month, we went to Atlantic City for the weekend with a group of my friends, all of whom are either married or in long-term relationships. It was a great weekend!
As you may recall from my last post, the buried lead was that I started a relationship. I’m happy to report that we are still together, and it wasn’t an “All Falls Down” scenario again (click here to revisit that blog post). It hasn’t been without its challenges, but diamond-making does require some friction right? We’re two pretty independent people who were single for a long time before finding each other, so you can imagine coming together would have some hiccups as we learn to navigate this new “we” and “us” vibe we are creating. Overall though, your girl is happy. I’m loved. I’m cared for. I’m listened to. I’m catered to. I’m encouraged. I laugh, a lot, and not just at my own jokes, but because he is hilarious. I’m valued. I’m told I’m beautiful and not just when I’m beat for the gawds. I’ve had this in bits, portions, fits, and starts. It’s never been the entire or the whole experience. Sometimes I sit back and think of the progression of our relationship and think “Damn, this is happening. I finally got to the good part of dating”. The most exciting change has been living in the Bronx.
See what had happened was…
I packed a bag to stay here with him in the Bronx for the holidays, with the intention of going back to my apartment after New Years, but between him getting COVID right before Christmas (he is vaccinated so the bout was not too bad thank God), and my job returning to fully-remote work for January 2022 while NYC rode out the spike in COVID numbers, going back to my apartment just wasn’t a priority. I went back for my second monitor, then my desk.. then all of a sudden it was February and he asked if I wanted to move in with him… and here we are!
As of the writing of this post, we are wrapping up the packing, cleaning, and purging of my apartment in Queens, and hope to have me fully moved in by the end of April. I didn’t envision my life changing this dramatically in such a short span of time, but all it illuminates for me is that when something is right, all the milestones will come naturally, no force required. Also, when something is for you, God is literally going to run you down to bless you. I feel that way in so many areas of my life, I’m just glad it’s finally beginning to shine bright in my love life.
And I want to take a moment to thank all of my friends for your support. The texts, dms, comments, and conversations I’ve had with many of you have let me know that you are rooting for me and my happiness, and it means so much to me. You have laughed and held my hand (in real life and virtually) as I rode the rollercoaster that’s been my dating life over the years, so regardless of when you joined this journey with me, thank you. I’ve had the opportunity to live and learn through so many of you and your relationship journeys, so hopefully, mine is doing the same for whoever needs it.
The therapy:
Online therapy has been amazing!
I plan to write a more thorough review of my experience with online therapy, but I’m here to sing the praises of therapy overall. It’s been the best investment I have made in my health, which might only come second to having fibroid removal surgery. I used to hear others speak about their good experiences with therapy, and always knew I should approach it, but cost and not prioritizing my mental health pushed this way down the to-do list. Then the pandemic happened, my surgery in 2020 got pushed back, and I found myself battling depression in isolation while I recovered over the holidays, which were already a challenging time for me. All of that happened and I still waited until December 2021 to begin therapy. But I did it, and I’m so grateful I did. It took years of traumatic situations, a global pandemic, and major surgery to get me started. Unearthing years of hurt, depression, anxiety, etc has been challenging and draining, but processing and releasing all of it has been liberating. I no longer feel like these things will be my burden to bear forever. I’m not on the other side just yet, but knowing and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel gives me so much hope. It lets me know that I can finally revel in the current happy I am experiencing and fully enjoy it. I also feel like it’s what has brought me back to writing this blog. I promise a better run down on Better Help, but if you want to give it a try, use my referral link for a free week!
The career:
Work has been busy, as it always is this time of year. Our annual benefit always takes place in the spring, so I’m used to it by this point. I didn’t think I’d be in a leadership program and preparing a capstone project, while also moving during this time, but surprisingly I’m hanging in there overall! The leadership program I’m in, RISE Academy for Leaders of Color, has been a great experience and it’s bittersweet that it’s coming to an end. I was slightly skeptical of what this experience would be like in a completely virtual space, but I’ve learned a great deal since its start in July of last year, and feel myself growing and getting more comfortable in my role as a leader in my organization. I used to shy away from that title, but now I embrace it, and am finding ways to push and encourage the people on my team to grow as well. I’m really excited for my future, both at Fiver and beyond, and I’m so grateful to have been selected for this program! My capstone project is focusing on building a philanthropic culture within our current program participant curriculum as well as with program alumni. It’s something that if done right could be a game-changer for the next generation of donors of color for my org, and I love that my project has real-world and real-time implications for our future revenue streams. There’s so much more I could share about that topic, but for now just know that I’m trying to make a real impact, and I think my project is the first step!
the future is female and Black AF
While I didn’t set out to hire two Black women for open roles on my team over the past year, God has a way of fulfilling dreams you didn’t even know you had. Not pictured here is our part-time colleague who works remotely and is also a woman of color, representing my Latinx fam. Altogether, my team is the future of the nonprofit sector, women of color who will do and are currently doing amazing things to make this world a better place.
Well, that’ll do it.. a relatively sufficient catch up on what’s been going on with me since my last post here. I would say this is the start of me being more consistent, but chile.. the way my life is set up…lol Imma try y’all. The best place to keep up with me is on Instagram @melissasbest.life but I will try to write more, one way or the other!
-m
